Saturday, May 8, 2010

Accepting the way things are...

Happiness and Blessings to all you are reading this.

I have been here before, traveled down this path of weighloss and exercise, lost weight, gained weight, never really enjoyed exercise, that was always something I just did as part of the plan to lose my weight. So what makes this time different, this time in my life, what leads me to believe that this will stick. The answer is simple, this time more so than any other time in my life, I am doing this for me. I am not doing it so I look good in my wedding photo's, not doing it so Tori won't have a fat mommy, not doing it because everyone else in the office is doing it. I am traveling on this journey of weight loss and true self discovery, removing the layers of weight, the emotional scares, the patterns that I have developed because I am choosing to do this for myself. So many of us, each one of us inherently has a journey, a path to follow, maybe it is one of spiritual discovery, maybe it is one of self discovery, maybe it is one of stress reduction, or changing a relationship that you are not happy with, regardless of what the journey appears to be on the surface or in the physical plane, searching deeper, looking for the message behind what is seen, is where the lesson lies.

For me, it's learning what makes me eat, what makes me turn to food as a comfort, or for celebration, or for support. It's learning how to find that happiness, that inner peace in ways that support what is for my highest good and not turning to food because it's easy. Today Dave and I took my mom out for mother's day breakfast. I had requested to go to a certain restaurant because I knew they had a lighter breakfast option on the menu. I mentally rehearsed my selection and when we arrived, succeeded in ordering the healthy option on the menu. Dave did the same thing, and at one point in the meal, expressed how difficult is was to choose other than the cinnamon pancakes that were his usual. Changing patterns and changing choices, changing habits and changing outcomes, this is what this journey is all about for me.

So when I step on the scale one week and it doesn't move, or doesn't move much, I look around at what else happened that week, what else showed up that is a reflection of the work I have done. People are noticing how good I look and how much weight I have lost, their feedback feels good, because I too know how much dedication and commitment I have put into this change in my life. My clothes feel better.

And the most amazing transformation this week, a true gift to myself, is the joy I have found related to exercise. So many times in the past, I exercised because I had to, but this week, I found myself looking forward to the exercise, enjoying the journey on the elliptical trainer. So much so that when I missed the chance to work out for 2 days, my body really felt it. I felt tired, and out of sorts. Only after returning to my workout and feeling uplifted and energized did I realize the connection.

My daughter is supporting us in her own special way, by asking to go the the kidzone at the Y to play. She enjoys her time with the other kids at the Y, while Dave and I get a workout in. So as much of an individual journey that this is for me, it's a family journey as well.

So when I speak about accepting the way things are, I mean just that, accepting how I feel in any given moment, accepting myself no matter what the outcome, and being clear on my intention each day and each week as I keep the focus on my ultimate goal. I am learning how to celebrate differently, enjoying every little celebration, like choosing not to stop at the fast food restuarant for comfort food, or choosing the healthy breakfast over the pancakes, and noticing how wonderful my body feels because I didn't stuff it full of food.

For me right now, it's about food and choices and changing patterns, for other's it is different, I share my story with you because it's simple, and encouraging to know that anything is possible when we choose ourselves.

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